Worst. Introduction. Ever.

Welcome to the 38,011th season of everyone's favorite show, The Simpsons! Sure things have gotten kind of crazy for humanity after all these years, but you can rest assured in the knowledge that The Simpsons are still going strong. While mankind may get wiped out of the galaxy, The Simpsons will never go off the air!

It is the 41st Millennium and the Secret Order of the Stonecutters has existed since the earliest days of human civilization, working covertly to safeguard mankind's most precious knowledge, the arts of brewing beer and distilling spirits. For thousands of years the Stonecutters were able to overcome all threats to blessed alcohol without having to make themselves known to outsiders. But with man's position in the universe becoming ever more precarious, in the past several centuries they have openly joined the fight against those who would bring about these most dire of threats. Having recognized the importance of their most Holy mission, the High Lords of Terra empowered the Stonecutters, making them a part of the next founding of Space Marines. And now as a Chapter of the Adeptus Astartes, the Stonecutters continue to uphold the ancient vows of their ancestors to keep the galaxy safe both for humanity and for booze!

The Stonecutters fight to keep us safe and drunk... very drunk. So next time you take a drink, lift your glass once in gratitude for them. And if you think you have the stamina to endure the Crossing of the Desert, the courage to look into the Unblinking Eye, and the strength to overcome the Wreck of the Hesperus, then you too may be Stonecutter material. Grab a bolter and a beer and let's find out!

THIS... IS... SPRINGFIELD!