Index Astartes Simpsonicus

This is the basic Index Astartes entry that I filled out for my chapter of Space Marines, originally written out more than half a year ago. Now that I have an online home dedicated to the Stonecutters, I thought it would be appropriate to start brining some of my older material over to this new blog. It's been a while since I looked at a lot of this so I may be tinkering with things as I get a better idea about what I want to do with this army project. But for now, this is really where it all began for me. It's my original Stonecutters fluff and reflects that first inspiration.

Name: Stonecutters (...Guild? Order of the...?? doubtful)

Founding Chapter: Silver Skulls

Founding: Twenty Sixth, 738.M41

Chapter Master: Patricus Calvus

Homeworld: Fonsager

Fortress-Monastery: Primary base located on Fonsager's moon, Hertagha.

Main Colors: Burgundy armour, yellow chapter badge and unit markings, yellow trim on the pauldrons, steel -colored chest eagle, turquoise or emerald helmet-lenses.

Specialty: Drunken assaults and Belligerent defense, some daycare experience

Battle Cry: "We Do!" (usually in song form, like this, "Who shoots Ork Boyz in the face? Who kills off the Eldar race? We do! We DO!!")

Estimated Strength: 10 Companies with approximately 1000 Battle Brothers and Initiates

Worst. Introduction. Ever.

Welcome to the 38,011th season of everyone's favorite show, The Simpsons! Sure things have gotten kind of crazy for humanity after all these years, but you can rest assured in the knowledge that The Simpsons are still going strong. While mankind may get wiped out of the galaxy, The Simpsons will never go off the air!

It is the 41st Millennium and the Secret Order of the Stonecutters has existed since the earliest days of human civilization, working covertly to safeguard mankind's most precious knowledge, the arts of brewing beer and distilling spirits. For thousands of years the Stonecutters were able to overcome all threats to blessed alcohol without having to make themselves known to outsiders. But with man's position in the universe becoming ever more precarious, in the past several centuries they have openly joined the fight against those who would bring about these most dire of threats. Having recognized the importance of their most Holy mission, the High Lords of Terra empowered the Stonecutters, making them a part of the next founding of Space Marines. And now as a Chapter of the Adeptus Astartes, the Stonecutters continue to uphold the ancient vows of their ancestors to keep the galaxy safe both for humanity and for booze!

The Stonecutters fight to keep us safe and drunk... very drunk. So next time you take a drink, lift your glass once in gratitude for them. And if you think you have the stamina to endure the Crossing of the Desert, the courage to look into the Unblinking Eye, and the strength to overcome the Wreck of the Hesperus, then you too may be Stonecutter material. Grab a bolter and a beer and let's find out!

THIS... IS... SPRINGFIELD!